embracing the good in life

This one is easy for me. The "good" in my life is my son, Avery (he is a year and a half). I try to embrace and cherish the time I have with him as much as I can, though I wish I had more time to spend with him. It is amazing to watch him learn and grow, and he almost does something every single day that surprises me. Last week, he learned how to turn a doorknob to open a door. He is also building his vocabulary, new words of recent include "ball" and "eat." When it was still warm outside, we told him we were going swimming, and he said "bath," like he knew the swimming pool would be like a bathtub. Today, he actually called me from the house phone (we have speed-dial, but still). I can't get enough. I wish I had the luxury of being a stay-at-home mom, but I have to work and finish school, and then move on with my career. When I come home late at night, sometimes Avery is still awake and I get to play with him or read him a bedtime story. We all hang out around the house and play outside on the weekends, when work or homework doesn't interfere. But time with him is precious, and so I try to cherish it as much as I can while still keeping my head on straight about school and the other responsibilities that I have to devote time to.

the Epicurean "dot coms"

One of the major themes of my research paper will be how today's American capitalist society has construed the original Epicurean meaning of "pleasure" to include lavish meals and wine. The major dot coms - Epicurius.com and Epicurean.com, focus on gourmet meals and wines, which they claim are simple to prepare but draw upon elegant and rare ingredients in their recipes. This is in major contrast to what Epicurus meant by "pleasure as the absence of pain." One of my sources lays it all out quite clearly: The Hedonism of Epicurus:
An Ancient Philosophy of Ethics, Pleasure, and Pain
© Lisa Keele Read more: http://philosophy.suite101.com/article.cfm/the_hedonism_of_epicurus#ixzz0TvZs8y8G

In her section about food, Lisa Keele restates that Epicurean philosophy focuses on the concept of pleasure as absence of pain. She goes on to use the example of hunger as a physical pain. Given that, any food of choice will end the physical pain once you've eaten it. However, she uses the examples of chocolate cake and oatmeal to make her point. Many sweet lovers would choose the chocolate cake to alleviate their hunger, but this goes beyond the mere "absence of pain" that Epicurus was referring to. The oatmeal, on the other hand, also accomplishes this goal while being more healthful for the body, cheap to afford, easy to prepare, and able to alleviate hunger for a longer period of time--which makes this the more "Epicurean" choice. The chocolate cake would be more expensive, harder to obtain and prepare, and would cause or add to health problems through obesity and tooth decay (adding more pain), while only removing the pain of hunger for a short time.

Taking another perspective, I see how it could be argued a different way. Epicurious.com tries to offer selections that are easy to prepare with ingredients that some may already have on-hand. Stressing about "what's for dinner" and trying to prepare a healthy family meal with everyone's busy, conflicting schedules can definitely be a "pain" that many parents face today. Many of the meals are classified as "simple breakfasts," "healthy lunches," and "fast dinners," which I'm sure alleviates the stress on many moms (and dads) who have trouble deciding how to feed their families, thus bringing pleasure when their spouses and wives sit down to a nice, yet easily prepared meal. But I'm not so sure that Epicurus would agree with that...

my piece of Worldly Wisdom

If I could offer one piece of advice or tidbit of "worldly wisdom," it would be to live every day to the fullest and not worry about the past or the future, but appreciate what you have right in front of you. Go outside once in a while and enjoy the outdoors, just appreciate how beautiful the planet is and how lucky we are to have been born into this country and under this set of circumstances. Compared to many people around the world, we are lucky to have been born in the United States.

Lately I have found myself so worried about grad school and where I might be going next that I sometimes forget to just appreciate how far I've already come and what I have to be thankful for. When I was reading further into Epicurean philosophy, what Epicurus really meant by seeking out pleasure was just being able to afford the basics: food, water, shelter. I am lucky enough to have all of those. I have a job (which is lucky considering the current economic conditions), I have a house, and I even have the love of my family. Those necessities should be enough to alleviate most of the mental and emotional pain and suffering that I might encounter. I took a moment to realize that if I stopped at this point in life and went no further with my education, I would be happy, because I already have the necessities that many people do not. Seeking excess and constantly looking towards the future (or behind at the past) can only create tension and anxiety. Instead, we should take the time to appreciate what we already have and consider ourselves blessed for having it.

a lesson from The Prince

I was able to identify with one of the general themes that Machiavelli harps on: that you have to acknowledge the gap between the way people ideally should behave and the way they actually do behave, before deciding how to act or respond towards them. When he discusses generosity, this hit close to home for me. Ideally, one would think that everyone should strive to be generous--but this is not so! It is in fact true that if you attempt to be overly generous, people will take advantage of your giving spirit and soon you will have nothing left for yourself.

Growing up, I had some very "needy" friends, always borrowing but never paying back, and I was generous enough to loan. Eventually those friendships soured, but not before I was left hanging with a dwindling bank account. It was a hard lesson to learn (especially because it involved money), but an important one. And I understand that being generous ("giving") is different from "borrowing," but I think the same principle applies. Unless you have the resources to be generous with other people's money, it really is not worth it in the long run to [monetarily] seriously help someone out, especially people who are not trustworthy or even show the slightest hint of being ungrateful.

childhood memory regarding success

I guess the memories I have about being successful revolve mostly around my father. He was always telling me and my younger brother that if we wanted to get into a good college, we had to study hard and make good grades during elementary, middle, and high school. Every time we came home with a bad report card, we got the old "college talk" (along with being grounded or chores, depending on how bad the report actually was). He really drilled it into our heads that going to school was crucial to doing well in life.

I guess I didn't pay him enough attention, because I didn't realize until my senior year in high school how important getting good grades and being involved actually was. My dad hadn't said anything about class ranking or how extracurricular activities fit into college acceptance, and he divorced my mom before graduation. However, he still used methods to encourage us to do well. For example, I couldn't drive my sweet red convertible unless I made good grades. (By the way, the car was a one-up on my mom after the divorce, and I only got to drive it for about 3 months before I smashed it up!) But by and by, I fell behind in class. I think it was ultimately the car that got me into so much trouble. After all, I wouldn't have been able to skip class if I had to ride the bus. I ended up dropping out of high school and going back to finish later on.

Back to the point though. The idea of success was implanted by my father (I'm sure my mother agreed with him, but I associate the lectures about college with my father) at a young age. I wish that things had turned out differently on those fronts (time-wise), but ultimately I am here at a decent school and about to graduate with a degree, after all. So in the end, his lectures must have had an effect on me.

more paper topic ideas...

At first the idea of a "successful life" brings to mind doctors and teachers, maybe because what I think of this involves helping people and giving to others. When I was little I wanted to be a veterinarian because I absolutely loved animals, so naturally I wanted to help them. But now I realize that no matter what your occupation, you can help people in different ways. (And animals!) So I don't think that idea for a paper topic comes to any fruition for me.

Some other things include what we've talked about in class. Maybe about the way Socrates thought about handicapped people, that once the body is incapacitated to a certain point, there is no reason to go on living. But that can be attributed to lower standards of healthcare (and I'm sure hygiene) during that time period.

Lastly, the modern-day concept of "Epicureanism" compared to what Epicurus really meant; in other words, the yuppie markets and day spas that capitalize on the name, but preach self-indulgence instead of seeking out pleasure in everyday life. But I feel like that one is an easy giveaway.

I'm going to search around on some sites and see if I can come up with something a little better...

Epictetus: Inner Excellence Matters More Than Outer Appearance

This chapter from The Art of Living hits closest to home for me. I am female, and having a child even furthers my self-consciousness about the way I look. Since my baby was born over a year ago, I have struggled to lose the extra pounds I gained when I was pregnant. It has been a real challenge for me, and one that I face everyday. Deciding what to eat and what not to eat, especially during my hectic schedule, can be difficult. And going straight from work to school in the evenings with only Wendy's and Taco Bell in between does not help matters. But I am making excuses for myself. I go in and out of phases where I will go to the gym everyday, but then hit a roadblock that makes me feel lazy and like I don't want to exercise. All of this adds stress to my life and it is even worse when I can't find clothes in my closet that fit (that's the start of a bad day!) But the main point is, I shouldn't be so worried about what people think of my physical appearance, because it's what is on the inside that really counts. And what Epictetus says about women is absolutely true--from the time I was in my early teens to before I was noticeably pregnant, I would receive compliments from the other sex regularly. Now, not so much. But I need to recenter and concentrate on what's important in my life right now, and that is graduating with my Bachelor's Degree and getting into a good law school. No matter what I look like, I will succeed in life. I just have to try to push aside any negative thoughts that might push themselves to the surface regarding my appearance.